And the streets of Heaven shall be paved with gold...

I'm going to take a paragraph written by one of my best friends, Adam, and expand upon it.

God doesn't need us. We need God. All of this is starting to come into focus. We were dead, and we were given life. Our lives will be taken away. We get to participate in this, God's creation, for a short time, and all He asks of us is to live these borrowed lives consciensciously while we can. This whole mundane world can be a blindfold, distracting us from simple, enumerated truths, or it can be utilized, as I believe God intended, to enlighten ourselves and bring to bear mortal, flesh-laden guardians of the word and will of God to protect his worldly creation.

Faith. What a long, strange trip it's been. As I am sure most of you know, my father was a minister for the first 18 years of my life. From my earliest memories a sense of God has been with me. My mother is probably the most religious woman you will ever meet; and strong in her faith, absolutely rock solid. I cannot boast the same. I dutifully went to church every Sunday and played the role of a PK (preacher's kid). All through this time I had witnessed stale church services (my father's message was always riveting, in contrast) but the routine that has crept in and taken over the United Methodist Church placed repressive fists on any progress Dad tried to make. I could never understand how a board of uneducated (lacking scholarly interpretation of the scriptures aka seminary) people could make the best decisions for a church.

I digress again. In any event, I became sterilized to religion to some degree. Vaccinated, so to speak. My experiences as a camp counselor in the complete middle of nowhere in WV were my first testaments to me finding any religious fullfilment. Now, if any of you know me, you have to be wondering who would let me watch their kids. At this camp, a side of Shawn no one has really seen emerged. I knew how to relate to the kids and usually week after week became their favorite. I kept a firm hand but I, especially I, kept in mind what it was to be a child. Often I wish I could go back to those times when I was innocent and naieve.

It was here that I first truly learned that God was real. I had the opportunity to serve as counselor a second time, this time much more fulfilling. I had been at college for the 3 years in between stints as counselor. We all know what my college experience was like. Needless to say, once I got to college I no longer felt the need to go to church on Sundays, after all, I wasn't required to, now. And in this process, I drifted farther and farther away from God. I had questions answered again the second-go-round at the camp. I don't really want to talk further about the second time, though, except to say that I again knew I had a friend who would walk beside me in my toughest trials and tribulations.

And here I stand now. I know that there is a bright future in store for me. I just don't know what steps to take to get there. I never thought it would be this hard to find a job. You would think a 23 year old with a MBA would be swept right up, but it is not so. I find myself in prayer more now than I ever have before. It's just me taking on the world now. I still have my family and friends, but this is a journey that I have eagerly been anticipatiing for a long time. I now get to set out and make my own way in the world.

In the limbo that has been my life since graduation, I have asked myself many questions. I have done a lot of soul-searching and I know what is important to me. I am learning to my trust in my Friend and let Him lead the way. The Bible says "If the Lord is for you, who can stand against you." I have found this phrase to be my sustenance. I don't have all the answers, but I have been given some. Hell, I still have a lot of questions, but I know that in time all will be revealed.

Never underestimate the power of prayer.

Religion is a very personal thing. I do not like talking about it openly, but this blog has become the one place I can find refuge from the thoughts swirling through my head. Everyone's journey is unique and has its own telling. This has just been mine. I have seen too much evidence to not believe in a higher deity. I encourage you to experience all the wonderful things our borrowed time here on Earth allows you too. Live life to the fullest, and be genuine in your actions; treat others as you would want to be treated, and don't forget: there is always a guy Upstairs that's the best listener you could ask for.

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, it was then that I carried you.”

Arrivederci e buonanotte.