Music and Coincidence

The blow your socks off post is still to come. I am back down in Atlanta now. Had to wait a couple days before I got internet in the apt, but now I've got it and managed to get cable for free too. So, I had about 450 pages left in my book I was reading and banged all of it out yesterday. I finished around 4 am or so and turned the lights off and went to bed, but I decided to leave the radio on for some reason. The next hour was not a glass cage of emotion, but it was a roller coaster of it. One song after the other came on and every single one corresponded to the thoughts going through my head. I laughed, contemplated, and even left a few tears on my pillow when REM's song "This one goes out to the one I love" came on. Nothing hit closer to home than that song, and I now fully understand where he was coming from when he wrote that.

What are we in this world? Are we all destined to do something great? Or is it only a few of us who get that chance? Are we like pebbles thrown into the pond? Ever thrown a rock into water? I'm not talking one of those huge pieces of granite or anything....but just a normal sized rock? Notice how the ripples in the water begin at the point where the rock was thrown, but continue to ripple out and get bigger and bigger. I think each of us is a pebble and the world around us is the pond. When we are born we make our tiniest ripples and as we get older they become bigger and bigger, and the sphere of influence we have also becomes greater.

The point of life...Is it all the good we have done? Or is it all the chances we had to do something good and didn't?

Time is a great wheel that keeps moving and stops for no one or no thing. We, like our fathers before us, have searched for the meaning of life. Are we to believe the Chrisitians and their views on religion? The Buddhists? The Muslims? The Hindus? The Hedonists? The altruists?The Catholics? Who is to say one is right and one is wrong. I've been to the Eastern Hemisphere and seen religious artifacts pre-dating our own country. Not that that is saying much. Europe had more than 1000 years of history behind it when America was just a babe in swaddling clothes.

Where does love fit into this whole thing? I think that word has about as many meanings as a single word can. I thought I knew what love was, but I was definitely wrong. I don't even know if I have the capacity to love anymore. I know I want companionship and someone to confide my everything in. I also know it is very hard to find someone you can put your trust in. Nothing is what it seems. I thought someone was put into my life for a reason, but she was gone as fast as she came into my life, although I did everything I could to fight it.

Our generation as a whole knows that we have to do something. We just don't know what the hell that is. I had 5 years of college education and not once did they say that when you got out it would be next to fucking impossible to get a job. Everyone wants experience. How the hell are you supposed to have experience if no one will hire you. It is our country's greatest Catch-22, and actually something I can't blame Bush for (there are plenty of other things to lay at his feet).

Actually, let me take this time to thank President Bush for starting the war in Iraq, for TRIPLING our gas prices, and for showing nations all around the world how NOT to respond to a national disaster. I hear he wants to start an investigation led by Republicans...I am sure their results won't be biased or anything. Daddy definitely paid for his Harvard MBA. Sorry, but I needed to get that out of my system. There is still no solution posed for our Social security system, which my generation will be the first to NOT get. He did go to Harvard and get an MBA, right?

I had a job interview on Tuesday which went very well. I did the follow-up thing today and will probably know something in the next couple of weeks. Until then..my life stays on hiatus...

It's time to watch some football.

Arrivederci